Tell me how to win your heart , For I haven’t got a clue

I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you're looking for?

I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide
'Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you ...

I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello, I've just got to let you know

'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you ...

Hello, is it me you're looking for?
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying ... I love you

Hello – Lionel Richie

Currently being played in my playlist over and over again.

Such a good song.

End of Holiday

I hate the feeling of having to go back to Malaysia. Don’t get me wrong. I love Malaysia. It’s my hometown after all. But then , *THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A BUT* I have lived in Brunei for almost the rest of my life that I always see Brunei as my home.

When I was young , I can’t wait to leave Brunei and my parents. To get the ‘Freedom’ I’ve always wanted. To be able to do whatever I want without my parents’ permissions. I got my wish when I entered KTJ. I never knew that living without parents would be so hard! Before this I wouldn’t even be bothered to do laundry or folding clothes cause we had a maid.

KTJ is a boarding school. I never been to a boarding school. Boarding school in abroad wasn’t easy. I only have my siblings and got to see them every 3 weeks. When I went back , It would be different. I have to do things by myself (House chores). I don’t like that! It’s so boring. Who knew that doing laundry would be a hassle??

I always got so excited whenever my dad called and said he booked a ticket for me to go back. I’ve always looked forward to go back.

Brunei is a quiet country. It got nothing in terms of entertainment wise. But I like it. There’s no hassle to go to other places. You don’t need to get ready an hour early to avoid traffic and stuff. It’s peaceful. And I have my mom and dad!! Whenever I’m back in Malaysia , I miss them so so much. I wish they could call me every day and night just for a talk. But I know they can’t. They have loads of stuff to do back at home. So , whenever I’m back at home I try to spend my time with them as much as I could cause I know I will miss feeling their presence around. Especially having a good laugh or argue about something. =)

Oh well , I don’t have to be all emotional tonight cause I have about 2 months break once I finish my foundation year!!

 

To You.

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

[Chorus:]
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

[Chorus]

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

[Chorus x2]

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

 

Here it goes , to our past

Oh My Gosh

My dad is maybe one of those few people that you can call as ‘Mr.Everything’. No kidding. My dad is like one of those super dads / people. He’s one of those people that you can talk to about EVERYTHING. You can talk to him from IT *which is his major* to business.

If my dad didn’t do his study in ICT , I got a feeling that he would do either Business , Finance or something that has to do with Real Estate thingy. He can talk about Real Estate as if he’s the seller. He can talk about Finance as if he works in the bank. He can talk about Business as if he’s Donald Trump! And he can talk about IT especially on ORACLE like a pro. And that doesn’t include on other stuff as well.

I don’t know how my dad got the free time to do all of those things. Every time I’m back for holiday , he’ll be in his laptop. Either listening to one of those live streams tv or talk. But those are not like motivational or ‘How to get rich’ kind of talk. Mostly , news and religious stuff. Either that or sleeping. And he doesn’t really stay up till late at night doing those stuff. Before 11 , he’s already snoring in the bedroom.

Just now , at dinner he was talking abt ‘Overdraft Facility’ and those property stuff. We used to have that talk , when I was having that post-SPM break but that time I wasn’t really paying attention. He and my eldest sis were into it. The rest of us were clueless. I do know a bit. About how important it is to invest on a house on an early age , how nicer it is to get loan at younger age. It got me thinking that we could get rich just like that! Especially when you’re being an investor. He also said that it’s important to have lots of property and invest on them. In that way , the money will come back. Like a cycle. We could make a double fortune out of it. No wonder the Chinese like to buy so many properties then in the end , they sell it one by one. Unlike us , Malays. We buy the house just for us , but then , we didn’t really invest on it. Yes , it’s a must to own a house , but invest on 2 doesn’t really hurt. In fact , it just make you become richer!

I still don’t get on that Overdraft facility. But just now , my dad showed me the illustrations the use of overdraft facility. Now I know a thing or two but it’s still vague. But hey , the glass is half full !! Need to fill the other half so I can really get it! =)

I’m very impressed on my dad. I really look up at him.

When I’ve started to work , I’ll ask my dad about future financing and follow his say cause I know my dad is one hell of a good strategist!! All of his plans are for future use and I’ll ask his help. DEFINITELY

I LOVE my MR.EVERYTHING SUPER DAD !!

Spend My Life With You

I never knew such a day could come
And I never knew such a love
Could be inside of one
And I never knew what my life was for
But now that you're here I know for sure

I never knew till I looked in your eyes
I was incomplete till the day you walked into my life
And I never knew that my heart could feel
So precious and pure
One love so real

Can I just see you every morning when
I open my eyes
Can I just feel your heart beating beside me
Every night
Can we just feel this way together
Till the end of all time
Can I just spend my life with you

Now baby the days and the weeks
And the years will roll by
But nothing will change the love inside
Of you and I

And baby I'll never find any words
That could explain
Just how much my heart my life
My soul you've changed

Can you run to these open arms
When no one else understands
Can we tell God and the whole world
I'm your woman, and you're my man
Can't you just feel how much I love you
With one touch of my hand
Can I just spend my life with you

No touch has ever felt so wonderful
(You are incredible)
And a deeper love I've never known
(I'll never let you go)
I swear this love is true
(Now and forever to you to you)

Can I just see you every morning when
I open my eyes
Can I just feel your heart beating beside me
Every night
Can we just feel this way together
Till the end of all time

Can I just spend my life with you
Can you run to these open arms
When no one else understands
Can we tell God and the whole world
You're my woman, and you're my man
Can't you just feel how much I love you
With one touch of my hand

Can I just spend my life with you
Can I just spend my life with you
Can I just spend my life with you
(Forever here with you)
Can I just spend my life with you
Can I just see you every morning when I
Open my eyes

One of the greatest ballad song ever. This song has been stuck in my head for days. I wish this song will be played on my wedding day =)

Eric Bennet ft Tamia – Spend my life with you

The Week

A week full of unexpected things , Drama-rama , funs and laughters , tears to shed , missing few people that I love and an absolute joy of coming back to a place where I call HOME. =)

So , I still can’t believe that I blurted it out to him. But there’s no regret. I’m gonna close that chapter and move on. Whatever it is , I don’t care anymore! But it’ll be very weeeeeird. Especially if I bumped into him or whatever. =S

I can’t believe I have a week left to be a bear in this house!!!! It’s soo not enough !! I need more!! I need to be like a total bear. Hibernate like crazy. Sleep till my head aches like crazy.

Oh well , new week. I’m expecting new stuff. The settle side of me. Hopefully things will turn out smoothly. =)

Crickets

THERE I SAID IT

Thinking back , I feel like chopping off all my fingers and let them rot. But then , I’d be fingerless and can’t eat. Hmm.. Cut that part.

Rephrase : Thinking back , I wished I didn’t actually do that. All those things. I don’t know what kind of monster possessed me to do that. As far as I know , I’m brave but not THAT kind of brave. This is a totally different side of me.

I don’t know what you feel. But there , I’ve said my part.

Whatever it is , I’ll face it cause I’m strong!

Paper

Aiza is my savior. If it wasn’t for her , my holiday is full of dull and boredom. Like piece of blank paper. Hehehe.

Spent 2 nights at her house. It was fun!! this time , I didn’t feel any awkwardness at all. Maybe I’m used to her house already. =)

I went to LIM KOK WING. It was fun. I went to her Malaysian Studies and Communication Skills Class. Oddly , the lecturers there didn’t mind. In fact , her CS lecturer gave me notes. Like , what am I gonna do with the notes kan ? But her lecturers are cool. They’re fun!

I can feel myself in any private college. Wear casual clothes. Free to do whatever you want. Different races in one college. Bet it’s fun! =)

Anyway , Aiza is such a fun doll to be around with. We totally updated each other like crazy and we had countless of fun! Every time mesti ada something fun to do!! We had fun with ‘empty paper’ chat , heart-heart convo , fairytale , stupid lame jokes , reminiscing high school times , etc etc.. Gosh.. It was fun in her house. We did lots of awesome stuff.

I wish Alia was there too. It’d be 100x fun-ner!! =[

Hello Bear.

So as soon as the clock strikes 6 , I am officially free as a bird. I can smell the freedom. And I tell you , it smells AWESOME.

I think I did good. Though I got flu and slept while answering the paper for 10 mins. But overall , the paper was okay. I can did it. Alhamdulillah.~

But I know my chances for getting an A is slim. Well , I was a biit disappointed with my carry mark. I thought I did good. With my condition just now , I can tell that A- also seems impossible. HAIHZ. There it goes my chance to score 3 pointer this sem. Urgh.. Oh well..

Well , since there was a biit of miscommunication between me and my siblings. I will stay in UIA until Sunday Noon. Urghh.. Oh well , at least I can pack my things slowly. I’m butt lazy to pack tonight. Maybe I will do it once I feel better. This flu doesn’t seem to go away. Urghh.. It’s like all of a sudden I got this flu. I was doing my laundry then I sneezed. In my mind I know that it will turn bad. At 2 o’clock , it did. I was sneezing and blowing off my mucus like some maniac. I pitied my roomie for being there to witness my suffering. LOL.This has happen twice. Everytime it’s maths exam , I’ll get flu. An allergy maybe?? =.=

Oh well , From now on my three weeks will begin with lots and lots of lazing around. I love being a bear. =)

G-G-G-G-G-G-GHEYEAH!!

Well , so long and farewell arab2. I hope I don’t have to see you again next sem. I can’t bear the thought of having to learn you again. I hope I did well this final. I got the feeling that it went well. And hopefully it is.

I feel like I deserve some time out before I continue my battle with Mr.Calc. I can’t study for the whole straight day. I’ll daiii! That’s for shizzle ma nizzle.

I just can’t wait for tomorrow. No more Maths. No more exams. No more classes. No more lectures. Cause I can smell ‘HOLIDAY’. It’s just around the corner!!

=)

Engkau Stole my heart.

I’ve been listening to those songs repeatedly.

Engkau – Nidji

Stolen – Dashboard Confessional.

I swear If any guys serenade me with Stolen. I’d be very happy and jump on that guy. Anytime. Especially with an acoustic guitar on. Oh , how much I adore guys who can do acoustics.

Men on guitars are totally a turn on. HANDS DOWN.

And not to mention ‘Come on get higher – Matt Nathanson’. Still one of my favs. =)

 

Dear obsessive , compulsive , protective gf.

Not my fault that your boyfriend added me. All I know is that we got to know each other through facebook and that’s how it all started. I didn’t know he has a girlfriend. Even though I know , I wouldn’t flirt or do anything with him. I see him as a friend. No more than that. You have to know that I am not a boyfriend stealer. I see everyone the same and I treat everyone equally the same. Well , maybe you thought that I’m a little playful and more ‘fun’ than you from the comment we gave each other. But it doesn’t mean I’m flirting with him. It means I’m being myself. All playful and fun at all times.

I know that I should put myself in your shoes. I’m a girl. Just like you. I know that when our man get close with this one girl , we would feel the pang of jealousy and fury rising to our veins at this girl. We feel like we want to know this girl and teach her a lesson for being too close with our man. But , think rationally.. Perhaps you need to know this girl little bit more than just thinking of attacking her without a concrete reason. Maybe you think , there is a concrete reason : MY MAN. But , does it means that he shouldn’t have any girlfriends and just you in his life ? If that’s the reason , then maybe you should not talk to your other boyfriends and just him. That would solve the problems , ain’t it ?

I know he has you and I know how much he loves you. I know that he doesn’t feel any affections towards me. And so do I.

Between me and you , I know that you are 100x better than me. You are prettier , taller and waaaayy skinnier than me. And I know that from the way that you caught his heart , it truly means that you are a nice person.

My parents didn’t bring me up to be labelled as ‘boyfriend stealer’. I know where I stand.

And you should know there are about billions of people in this world and it would be crazy of me to have a feeling for your man who is taken. I rather have a crush on a single man and think about him all day long. Which I am right now.

Guess this is another lesson in life : Thou shalt not befriend with someone’s boyfriends. *Sounds lame to me*

Is it true ?

This is weird. This shouldn’t be happening. This is absurd!! I don’t know why lately everything. YES.. Everything has been link to you. And people been giving me updates about you that I don’t bother to know. Are you a part of this ‘scheme’ ? I really hope you aren’t. Though part of me wishes that you are. I don’t even know what I feel about this. All I know is that , this is freakily creeping me out. I wish you could tell me something. Anything. A sign. Or ANYTHING. Well , an explanation would be a good one. or the truth. Cause I don’t want to be perasan. Cause being perasan is the last thing on earth that I want to happen between you and me.