Redha

Redha. It is sure one word that is easily to be pronounced and said for every Muslims. However, out of curiosity how many out of them that really understands the word ‘Redha’? Them who really use the word Redha and actually mean it? I’m writing this because I think people don’t really understand the true meaning of Redha.

My ustaz taught us that Redha is actually when you give in to the situation after all the actions you have done has turned out to have no hope. This is what I interpreted from him but his meaning go way more deeper than this and I have no right sentence to describe of what he had said.

Why I’m suddenly interested about Redha? Well, turned out that the Staffs in my uni are not educated well about this term. And I am NOT happy with it because they just use this word as they like without really understanding its meaning. And this .. Pisses me off. Really pisses me off. No joke.

The story goes like this ….

Me and my friends have written petitions for a change of schedule in final exam for 2 subjects because it happens to coincide on the same day though 1 paper is in the morning and the other is in the evening. However, we found that these papers are our core subjects and they are quite heavy to be on the same day as we have other exams a day before. Most of our friends that deals with this same pressure signed it too. So, first we went to A&R as most of our friends told us that is the right place to go. Apparently, it was not. So the staff told us to go either to KIRKHS or Engineering Department. We decided to go to KIRKHS first as it is close to A&R. There, the staff told us to go to Engineering Department. We totally understood the reason behind it. So, off we go there!

There, the ‘Redha’ incident happened. The staff told us that we are the first to do this kind of petitions. The others before us gladly ‘redha’ with this kind of schedule and moved on and did their best. You see, I don’t like the kind of tone and word he said to us. In my opinion, students have rights. After all, University is the place to shape us to be the best person we could be. And from the way he said, it sounded like we are spoilt brats that can’t handle this kind of pressure of having 2 papers on the same day. If he could only be in our shoes, he’ll understand better. Guaranteed.

My rebuttal is that, we are NOT spoilt brats. By doing petitions, it doesn’t mean that it will be approved 100% as they are procedures to go through. We understood that. It’s just that, the petitions is our voices to the Department that we preferably do not like to have 2 papers on the same day. And if there’s any other way they can help to change it, we would gladly appreciate it. And … Regarding those batch before us, I’m not saying they are lazy. It’s just that, we have voices and we should voice it out. Because based on what I know, those people would be complaining about it and mocked the Department rather than doing something to change it. And that is not what defines me and what I wanted to be. The complaining brat. For me, it defines a cowardly act. So where’s the Redha in that?

My another point is that, we want to secure our pointers. We want to aim high and score high. If we are being pressured with 2 core subjects and is only having a gap of few hours, how can we secure our pointers? Our brains needs to relax and few hours of gap won’t help us at all. Besides, we want to enter and leave the exam halls with feeling that we have done the best we could do and the rest is all up to Allah SWT to judge our efforts we put in.

However ……..

If this petitions doesn’t get the attention from the upper management and is declined, then I would be in the state of ‘Redha’. Because we have done the actions. However, it was a vain attempt. But, hey! At least we did something rather than sit and complaining right?

And This is what I understand from Redha : The actions where you open heartedly accept though the attempt was in vain.

 

I hope whoever reads this (my lovely non-existent readers), you would do more research about Redha as I don’t want to mislead you guys. Because this is based on my own understandings.

 

 

 

Words of wisdom

Success : You don’t earn it, You work for it!

Goodness gracious me!

I don’t understand our younger kids now. I’m not saying I’m old but I’m in my teens which is absolutely perfectly normal to rely on technology rather than embracing our very own environment since we are in this ‘cocoon state’.

Anyway anyhow before I start to blab on random things. Lemme get this straight out from my chest.

I don’t understand the point of kids and I mean ‘small people’ aged below 12 who already start to use facebook,twitter and tumblr. I mean, what is your purpose of having all those social networking sites? Trying to act cool is it? For me, it’s a cry for attention. I get it, kids use facebook to play games since it have quite addictive games (Former facebook games addict). However, twitter and tumbrl!? Are you for real?? *gawk*

I started to use tumblr few years back. It’s my another way of expressing myself besides blogging. Besides, most of the posts really speaks out the truth and my feelings at the moment. As for Twitter, I use it to type things that I won’t let people on Facebook to read. It’s my another way of having a double life. The crazy, witty,nutjob me & this crazy, random and foul mouth me. You know which is which if you have both of my accounts. Lol.

So the thing I don’t get is WHY WHY WHY do kids have twitter? What do they type about there? “Loving recess time. Playing swings with friends”. Or is it “Learn new things today : Addition and Subtraction”.  -.-‘ If that’s the case, I am so out of here. I’ll delete my twitter and just forever complain in my journal which is more private. (Heyy.. It’s a good idea actually) :)

And If I ever have kids, I’ll lock them outside of house every 5pm to let them have much fun that I once had with the outdoor when I was just about their age. Hehehehe.. =p

So Whatevs.

Can I just unfriend you in social networking AND real life? It’s better this way. No one get hurt and I won’t get bloody annoyed by you. It’s for the best. Trust me.

M.A.D.

Being with a person who is just plain lazy to learn, to do anything is such a total hardship that I have to cope up with every single day of my life.

No one there to back me up though it’s fucking true of what I’ve said. No one got the goddamn balls to fucking admit of what I’ve said. Well, sorry very much for having such a strong loud mouth.

I guess ..

This is the end. I don’t want to be the only one who’s trying to fix things between us. The only one who always ended up getting hurt but still forgive you.

I’m sorry.

Maybe in near future, We will be as tight as now. But for now, I just need to disappear from you for a while. I’ll be back. But when I’m back, my feelings for you won’t ever be the same.

A confession.

Although this has been over for idon’tknowmorethan2yearsforsure. But your actions leave a huge mark in my life. Until now, I don’t think I can ever trust guy the way I used to trust you.

It’s annoying. I do want to move on and be on relationship but, I’m scared. I’m scared of that incident to happen twice.

 

 

 

Heart, I promise to guard you more. I’ll make sure you won’t ached and broken like before.

Lasagna.

I cooked lasagna few days ago with mom. Well, mom helped out the cleaning part mostly.

Alhamdulillah it turned out to be delish! Though there are few thing that I should improve cause it was biiiit salty.

I didn’t know making lasagna would be quite easy. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. ;)

Took this using Dad’s phone. That’s why it’s a bit blur. Cause I’m butt lazy to go upstairs to get my camera :p

In hair Dilemma.

I feel like dying my hair in other brown colour and prolly highlights.

I know people won’t really be seeing it, but it’s for my own self satisfaction.

How now brown cow?

CPB

You just know how to end conversation really well don’t you?

Oh fuck this shit. I’m tired of this.

In the process of being a perfect daughter ...

... is not an easy task! Especially since she's on holidays and already planned to be a lazy bear.
Anyway, she's thinking that besides fattening herself up, she might as well do something productive. And by that is not getting pregnant. go figure yourself laah!

so the first step is : Helping my mom. I was watching TV when she walked carrying a tray and a container of anchovies. I'm thinking what the hell.. I'm not doing anything. Might as well help her. so I did. while watching tv. Tadaaaa!!!!!!
Malas nak rotate picture. so have fun rotating the laptop. ;p

I have to say cleaning out anchovies is not a fun thing to do. It's so tiring and the smell. Eurghh.. so smelly onee.. My fingers felt sticky and almost grey-ish of it. but it's a good bonding moment with mama. <3





then it was time for dinner. Daddy doesn't eat rice for dinner. so mama wanted to cook mee. At first she just wanna make a simple dinner : mee goreng. but I told her that I was craving for Mee Hailam. Hehehehe.. Pandai craving je, tapi masak x tau. I told mama to teach me Mee Hailam though she said she forgot the ingredients and stuff. I told her according to my taste buds (Chehh.. I'm a food lover whaat...) that most likely it's osyter sauce and soya sauce. From that, she recalled some ingredients and POOF!! Mee Hailam is served!!
It's so delicious! After all, mom's cookings are the best!! :)

Yay me!! Added one more recipe in my cook book! :)

dah boleh kawin.. hehehehe.. =p

Under Taker.

No. I’m not talking about THIS under taker …

Nor …

 

That’s just pure scary.

Anyway.. I’m talking about this kind of under taker. The kind that digs graves.

Graves.. You know graves!?!

Well, today was my first experience ever to dig graves. I gotta tell you, I respect all those under takers. Digging the grave is not the easiest job. It requires strong heart and arms. I was trying my best not to cry since it’s my first and also because my dad was there. It’ll be an ugly cry. Like those you watched on dramas where there will be snots, tears and sweats. Not a pretty scene to look at. You might even wanna look at her crying than me.

And Ohh.. I dug my 2 dead kittens. Not any human beings. That would requires a whole gang to dig up his body. Hahaha!

Ps : I cut my thumb while slicing tomatoes. It hurts. :(

This is my remedy to a broken heart.

Dear Sad Afifah,

You’re amazing, talented, smart, kind and have a big heart. So please, I’m begging you. Please be strong and take all of this as lessons in life. In life, You’ll meet more assholes than you’ll ever imagine. You’ll have to be stronger than this. He doesn’t worth your tears, troubles and worries. Clearly he’s an ass by proving that to you on that night.

Now, what I want you to do is to be strong. Dry up those tears. Shrug off those worries and stand tall with your chin up. You’re a strong, independent and amazing woman. Guys like him don’t deserve you at all.

InsyaAllah one day you’ll meet him. The greatest guy in the world. Who loves you as much as you love him and who would do everything anything to not make those tears pouring down again.

Sincerely,

Happy Afifah.

One down.

Yesterday was BM paper. I gotta say, I was drop dead clueless on how to start an essay. But I think I did pretty good. Minus the bad handwriting. My teacher told me to be confident on your answers. And hell yeah I did well! (Too Confident) Nyehehehe..

anyway anyhow anywho .. I’m very relieved that I have one paper left and that is of course .. Dynamics. The paper to Die for.

That’s why I’m taking a break for a night from dienamics from starting a fresh start tomorrow. =]

Weee.. Can’t wait for holidays! (counting down the days)

Whatever.

You don’t know how deeply hurt I was. You gave me hope. Those damn bloody goddamn high hopes of what could happen to us. And over a night, you crush it right on my face. I was doing perfectly fine those past few weeks. I had enough strength to see you as a friend. But you treated me nicely over this past few days and well, you smitten me. Stupid.. Stupid of me to think of that. But after that incident, you have really gone too far. I can’t accept your action. I really can’t. That was too much for me. You broke all the promises you made. I’m getting tired of all of your Sorrys. Those bloody countless of Sorry you have uttered and wrote are really worthless to me. It ticks me, You’re just a guy who are full of words. I don’t think I can forgive you now. I’m sorry. But I just can’t accept any of your apologies. I don’t care If you said “Sorry” to me for hours. I know I can’t. You’ve managed to make me cry which is very rare for guys to do that. Kuddos! You’re the 2nd non-related guys in my life who’ve managed to make me cry like a freak. and for that, I have to say goodbye to you.

Eiks!

Exam is just around the corner and I’m not prepared. Not at all! I’m really scared. It’s like whatever I learn is not absorbing to my brain. I think I need to study at somewhere peaceful. No pressure. Where I can really focus.

Ya Allah.. Help me.

Just Because ..

I’m too bloody dissatisfied over my Mid Term. But the past is the past. But STILL.. I strongly feel that the marking scheme is unfair. It’s not practical at all. Hmph..

Therefore, I’m gonna play game and start a new leaf w/ strong determination to get back of my Mid Term for the Final.

I can do this yes I can!

-xx

 

Ps : I already miss Melbourne. ;(

If you think I’m coming back,

DON’T HOLD YOUR BREATH!! – Nicole Scherzinger

Lately I’ve been very lazy to study. Tsk Tsk Tsk.. I feel very bad. I know it’s not good for me since I won’t be in class for a week. But it’s just that I feel very down lately. Especially after Dynamics Mid-Term. I gave it all to Dynamics but in the end, I still couldn’t answer it. I know If a religious person read this he will say “It’s fate” but then, I still feel it’s unfair.

Usually I feel relieved whenever I went out from examination room. But this time, I feel so down and honestly, I feel like crying. I feel stupid. I feel very stupid and frustrated with myself. I really don’t know what went wrong. I did everything in the book. I really spent those previous days to study but I still couldn’t answer it. And what frustrates me is the fact it was an mcq! I was very nervous and terrified all at once when I finalized the answer but then, my answer wasn’t in the given options. I was very sad. It made me think, what went wrong. Honestly, my confidence went down the drain once I realized it was a wrong answer. But then, it’s better knowing it was a wrong answer. But yeahh.. I still feel down. Idk. My emotion is not stable tonight.

So I think starting from today, I have to discipline myself and study like hell. I have to. I need to. I have to think of my future. From now on.

Cause the future is all about me. I have to accomplish my dreams. I have to live my dreams.

-xx

Fix us.

Is it my fault that we’ve distanced apart? Can you at least tell me If I’ve done something wrong. Just please. Be frank with me. I don’t want our friendship to be ruined because of one little thing. I miss us.

It’s time to say goodbye to Turning Tables.

This is my confession : I’m obsessed with JONATHAN GROFF!

Yes, the guy on Glee who better be known as ‘JESSIE ST. JAMES’. I love his voice. It’s super duper powerful.

But why oh why are you gay? :(

  

Aaaahh.. You so sexyyy!!!

Not everybody knows

The pain that I’m feeling in my chest. Sometimes, I wish I could just let it out. But then again, I’m scared it will leave out marks to the certain people. I don’t know lah. Is it because I’m ‘nice’ people are started to treat me badly?

People that I know are not really the type of person I can go to and rant and rant to them endlessly. Sometimes I feel like expressing them how I feel and stuff like that. I just want them to listen! and not say a word about it. Just listen to me talk about my problems and my life and then, I’ll leave. But then, they will always leave an advice and make me feel regretting telling them of my problems.

What I want right now is just talk and talk endlessly of my problems to some people. Anyone. Just to know that there is someone who would have a drink with me and just listen to me. To be there for me when I cry, laugh and mad at the same time about my problems.

I guess I need another me. I need to clone myself. :(

We were a beautiful mistake

This is just a midnight rambling before I’m off to read ‘Not Without My Sisters’.

Friends. They easy come, easy go. Just like Touch and Go.

It’s hard to find really true friends that will stay next to you and stand up for you when people have doubts on you.

Those who have always stood up for me.

I would like to say THANK YOU.

I really appreciate the things you’ve done for me.

Friends forever ..?

There are really no Privacy in our lives anymore.

Remember the days where Wifi was so hard to find and the only way for us to connect to the internet was through dial-up? I remember buying the internet cards. I usually bought the $5 or $10 (If I had enough money) and would use it until it ran out. Back in those days, I didn’t have Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Blogs. I just used the internet as a source to play games (Ragnarok Online or games on the net) and chatting (mirc).

Talking about mirc and RO, make me miss those stuff. But.. Imma write a post about it soon.

Anyway.. Before those websites were created, people mostly expressed their feelings by jotting it down on diary or ‘Journal’ (cause saying ‘diary’ sounded as if it’s a girly thing). I remember at least every year I must buy a diary and wrote down whatever happened in my life before I went to sleep. Even a short note like “I miss seeing you” was enough for a day. Those were the starting point of having a crush. Lol.

I remember seeing my diary as my confidante and my best friend. She was there when I feel the urge to let out all my emotions. She didn’t talk. She was .. there. To listen.

But now, with creative invention such as FB, Twitter, Blog and Tumblr, People don’t really write on Diary. They rather let it all out on public.

Feelings and daily whereabouts are used to be categorized as ‘Private’. But now, people are more than welcome to express their feelings. Their dissatisfaction, Satisfaction and etcetera etcetera etcetera.

I do use Twitter as a place for me to express my feelings. However, I set a boundary as not to hurt other people’s feelings and not to make it too obvious. I wrote down my feelings and whatever it is in general matter. Because I feel uneasy when people that barely know me in real life asked me certain questions that I would honestly answer only to my closest friends. And usually I tweet on the songs, celebrities, movies and stuff like that.

Don’t get me wrong. I have no grudge , hatred or whatsoever towards people who tweet very personal things cause that’s their tweet. But, I just feel that now, we are not ashamed of ourselves. From my point of view, people are now trying so hard to be ‘an internet superstar’. Everyone trying so hard to be famous and stuff. That’s just downright scary!

Pasta Mania!

I’ve been craving for Pasta nowadays. Had one at Italiannies but I’m still not satisfied! Something’s not right with my stomach and appetite now. Hmm.. I think I need to go for more Pasta day this week.

Can I ace it?

The biggest question in my mind when it comes to my own mother tongue language, Malay. I’ve always been scared to study my own language cause I think I rarely use proper Malay whenever I write or talk. I tend to mix it with English.

This has been a lifetime problem. Ever since in Primary 1, when we study Malay, I never got to fully understand it unlike English. It’s quite shameful that I’m weak in my own mother tongue. I mean, I get the idioms and singular/plural, and those grammar stuff. The thing that really bugs me the most are ; Spelling and Essay.

Essays are the tough one to do. Compared to do it in English, I found it’s easier to write than in Malay. I always have a very tough time to write a simple essay. Sometimes, I don’t know how to start and end it. Therefore, I tend to write the opening and conclusion way longer than I have to. Sometimes, I have to translate the sentence in my brain before writing it down in Malay. That’s why I will use “ “ If I can’t find a proper Malay word to the English word of it.

And I guess, from now on, I’ll be reading some Malay materials. And by that, I do not mean Malay romance novels as it tends to not broaden my minds and, the Malay usage is not quite standard.

Mother

Today, the whole world is celebrating MOTHER’S DAY.

It’s a tragic that I’m back in Malaysia a day before the celebration. Though we did a small celebration of it earlier, the feel wasn’t the same.

…

Mama, Thank you.

When I was a baby, You took care of me well. You’ve always been there for me. It doesn’t matter whether it’s middle of the night or 3am, when I cried for milk, you would wake up and fed me. You were there to bathe me 3 times daily and changed my diapers and clothes without any complaints.

When I was a toddler, You were the witness when I first uttered a word and step. You were too, there to bathe me 3 times daily and changed my diapers and clothes without any complaints. You still breastfed me until I’m old enough to drink from a bottle.

As I was growing up as a curious child, You were my teacher. The one who taught me ABC and 123. The one who taught me how to recite Al – Fatihah and few other ayats. The one who taught me how to tie my shoes and wear my clothes properly. You still bathe me, until I’m old enough to bath on my own.

When I was preparing for Kindergarten, You bought all the school uniforms and stationeries for me. You helped me pick out school bag and shoes. You did my hair until I was in Primary 3. You prepared food for me for the recess. You watched me went off to school with daddy. That was our first farewell.

When I was in Primary, You did the same routine as in Kindergarten. You were my teacher. A patient teacher. You helped me do my homework until I finished it. You did my art works because I was terrible at it , and all that left for me was to colour it. You would scold me If I behaved badly. If I didn’t listen, I’d get a ‘lovely surprise’ or two from your hand. But I know you did it out of love.

When I was in Primary 6, extremely nervous for my first big exam, You were there as my number 1 cheerleader. You’d helped me by giving me past year papers to do and such. When I first got my tonsil, You were there to make sure I took my medication and make sure I was well enough to study though you and the rest of the family made fun of my ‘robotic’ voice. I made you and daddy proud of my result, Straight As. I still remembered you hugged me and cried. You congratulated me. I was happy for myself because I have made you and daddy proud of me.

When I was in Secondary, I was slowly turning as the typical rebellious teenager. However, you and daddy were so calm in raising us 3 teenagers and 1 kid. You would give me good advices and talk about religion stuff that I never listened back in the days. When it was time for me to face my second big exam (Secondary 3), you would made me hot milo or nescafe at night while I was studying. You would wake me up early morning (before subuh) so I could continue my study. And again, I didn’t disappoint you and daddy when I got good result for my PMB.

When it was time for me to enter Secondary 4, you and daddy had a bigger plan for me. You and daddy were about to send me off to KTJ. A 2.5 hour plane ride and an hour ride from Cyberjaya. As a 14 year old teen, I didn’t quite know what you and daddy plan was. I thought I was going to be cast out for having a boyfriend at that young age. At that time, I decided to break up with him so you and daddy won’t sent me off. I thought it was my fault. I thought you and daddy didn’t love me anymore. But, boy.. With a good grades and stuff, I was quite stupid too. Haha. I  know what you and daddy did was a good thing for my future. You and daddy wanted a good and secure future for me.

And now.. Alhamdulillah. You and daddy had raised Hanani, Hafiz, me and, Mazni well. The 3 of us are now in University. Just another step to make you guys proud of us.

Mama, Thank you. Again.

For being such a strong, wonderful, loving, caring mother.

You’re a Wonder Woman in my life. There is NO ONE that could ever replace you.

I would forever be thankful for whatever that you’ve done for me.

I wish I could tell you in person, mama. I really wish I could.

But you know that our love for you is to death! And this is just a small proof of my love to you!

I love you, mama.

Mama’s 50th Birthday

Taken back in Form 3. –xoxo-

Hanging

#nowplaying Can’t Breathe – Fefe Dobson

I’ve said myself long time ago, it’s now time for me to stop this feeling that I have at you and start to forget you. Honestly, it’s NOT easy. The temptation not knowing what’re you up to, How’s your day has been, sharing songs, stuff like that. It’s eating slowly inside.

I’ve tried to NOT talk to you. But, that’ll be the moment where you’ll slowly creeping back to my life. You’ll be the one that will start everything! The texts, the calls. Stuff like that! And it annoys me.

Can you please stop that?

Sigh.

Today I discovered something new from you.

To tell you the truth, I was a bit sad. And still am.. Well, sad is not a strong word. I’m down in dumps to know that side of you.

I never expect you to be able to that thing. But then again, there’s so much more that I don’t know about you.

I’m glad that you’re willing to share that side of you with me though it actually hurts me.

There’s million of things I want to say to you about it, but I don’t have the guts to say it.

I don’t want you to think that I over-care about you.

I don’t want you to think that I’m close minded. Old Fashioned.

I don’t want you to think that I’m very protective of you.

But most of all .. I don’t want you to know that I have feelings for you.

Today’s a success!

 

 

That is not exactly what I cooked. I took this image on Google. Forgot to take picture of it. Lol

Anyway, I cooked this with my sis and mom. Sis learned this at her school. So, I want to learn so I can cook it in near future. :)

It’s so easy and well… Western dishes are easy to cook.

Tomorrow, I’m going to cook MY FAVORITE IKAN PEDAS AND FRUIT TRIFLE PUDDING CAKE.

Need to sleep early so I can wake up early and learn those recipes from mama! :)

Oh hai baby bloggie!

Lord my oh! I’ve been busy with Twitter and Tumblr that I don’t have time for you. I’m so sorry. Just that with fast internet connection back home makes me forget about you. I’ve been trying a lot to post something but in the end, I’ll just save it as draft and let’s just say that it stuck at ‘draft’ section and never been posted. Haha!

Anyway, as usual when I get back home. The first thing I noticed is : NEW KITTENS. And more digging to do once each of them died. I blame the mama cats for not being good mothers and take care of their kittens well. Hmph.

 

The three little kittens. Supposedly, there’s four. Unfortunately, one of them died cause Mimi (the mama cat) always bit it. It has open wound and died maybe due to infection or something. She has spot like Betty which made me think that it’s a female.

 

Since last night this kitty has been missing! God knows where it is! It’s either it has been eaten by monitor lizard at the back of the house OR … it crept into the car’s engine and jumped out to wherever we went last night. Whatever it is, I hope its alive and NOT being eaten by the monitor lizard. It’s too cute to die. :(

After a month or so.

Sorry for the long break bloggie boo. Been super duper butt lazy to update anything. Hehe.

What’s new with me??

Alhamdulillah I passed my CAD final Exam. Honestly, it didn’t feel like an exam at all. :p

We were practically discussing and helped each other. Hehehe.. I have to thank Haza for helping me with the assembly part. If it wasn’t for her, I think my assembly will look like Shit. And I am not kidding you with that one! The first assembly looked like something from what a baby would do if he was given the parts to play with.. Perhaps it will turned out even better than mine! Lol.

I hope to never face Engineering Drawing especiall the Computer Aided Drawing!

For reason unknown, I’m not a big fan of anything that is linked with D.R.A.W.I.N.G! I never like drawing since in primary school.

It’s crystal clear that I’m a science-y based girl! Hohoho..

Part 1 of drawing is done. Gotta study for the technical drawing part. I hope I can do good on that one. I really really need to score cause I know my carry mark ain’t that good. I gotta PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT baby!!

I CAN DO THIS YES I CAN!!!

If that’s what you want, Then Fine. Be it!

Oh my God. It’s been a month my baby didn’t get any update.

Life has been hectic with assignments and non-stop quizzes. I have to agree to what the others are saying “I have no Life”.

It’s true. My daily routine is the same. Class from morning till noon/evening. And at night, It’s crammed with either studying for quizzes or doing the last minute assignment (Mostly Drawing).

I hate love DRAWING.

1 month left for 1st sem!!

Hmm.. Here it goes then!

I lied to my friends when I say I could easily forget you. I thought when I don’t talk about you to them, it’ll make the feelings fade away easier. But I was wrong. Truth is, the more I try to avoid you.. That’s the time when you’re slowly creeping back to my life. You’ll be the first one to start everything back. The text, the call.. Those things. You always do that stuff. That things are the ones that make me always come back for you. I don’t know how you do it. But it’s like you got the feeling that I’m slowly drifting away from you and you pull me back so I’ll stay in this state. The middle-of-nowhere state. Honestly, I was a bit jealous when I saw your page was filled with her name. We’re not even together but here I am jealous over nothing. Last time, you told me there was nothing going on between the two of you anymore. It was such a relief to hear those words from you directly. But, now.. I don’t know If I really believed it. They say it’s good that I feel the jealousy creeping in because it shows how much you mean to me. But I don’t like it. I feel like I’m a scary envious monster when it comes to you.

I told myself that this is just a fling. It’ll last for couple of weeks then I’ll jump on to another victims. But I don’t know what’s so special about you that makes me like you even more when we got closer. I’m scared that we’ll get too comfortable on the friend zone that you’ll just see me as ‘one of your buddy’. Not the way that I want it to be. But.. If it’s fate, I can’t fight it right?

This is my 3rd attempt to write a blog. But I ended up doing something else. Teehee!

Anyway.. This holiday is exactly the break I needed after those long days stranded in Malaysia without my parents and the big big house. Hee..

Being a total bear in the house really helps me get my sleeping pattern on track. I finally have the 6-8 hours of sleep which I needed the most to avoid looking like a Panda. =]

Can I not go back to Malaysia? I’m having way too fun here with my family. They are the only ones that I can be totally manja with.

3 more days till I go back to Cyberjaya.

=[

Hello there!

Fuuh Fuuh!! This blog has been in hiatus for 2 weeks cause I was super duper busy with the quizzes, assignments and shit. sigh.. Life.

And now, I have a week break. So.. I might update once a while here.

This and Tumblr. Omg..

My tumblr has been in coma for like what.. a month plus or something!!?

Geez.. I need to update it!

okay. Just a short post for the beginning.

Adios people! <3

Don’t Know Why

#nowplaying Norah Jones – Don’t Know Why

Well, Life is getting hectic day by day. Maybe it’s due to my own time mismanagement. I’ve realized I’m not really good in managing my own time. I have to set my mind on study and getting my life on track by N.O.W.!

(doing the time schedule) LOL

Anyway, I can’t wait for tomorrow!! I’m going to have a fantabolous day with my girls. I’m as sure as hell I will!

This is the weekend getaway that I really need with my girls. Just me and them, away from studies, away from problems. I’m just gonna have a good time with them just to balance myself right. =]

There goes my baby

One of the addictive song currently playing on my mp3. =]

 I see you baby ;)

This is so so hot!

Yea man..