Restless.

So, I woke up by the mosquito bites. I was super duper sleepy but I couldn’t stand the bites so I’ve decided to do maths since I slept at 10 while trying to read the theory. *Note to self : I should’ve took my evening naps everyday or I’ll go tired by night.

Anyway , I’ve finished them but just need to sketch the graph. Nyeh.. I hate graphing. Me and graphs are not best of friends. Lots of things to do there. But it’s quite fun! Cause like, you get too caught up on doing it that you didn’t realize that time flies damn fast. So yea.. I find it fun. But I still prefer differentiation. *Nerdy talk there*.

I feel like I’m lying to myself about my feelings. But then , even I don’t know what I’m feeling. Sometimes I feel like I know. But then again , I’m puzzled. I hate being stuck in this emotional roller coaster ride. Sometimes I wish that I am one of those lucky people who don’t give a fuck about this shit and just live. I wish I have that strength to don’t give a fuck about this feeling. I wish I could just shrug it off and live and be happy. Instead , I’m stuck in this shit. I never like having this feeling.

They said having a crush is fun. What’s so fun is it o fantasize about those impossible things you know you will achieve ? Doesn’t that make you more sad than it is? It’s like ‘You Belong With Me – Taylor Swift’. Whenever you listen to those lyrics carefully , you can tell that it sounds desperate and sad. What’s so fun it is , when you know that your crush likes someone else ? What’s so fun it is when you know that your crush just sees you as a friend ? What’s so fun when once you know that it’s ‘Just a friend’ phase but you’re still stubborn to jump over that phase ?

Woow. I just made myself my own reality check. I feel so relieved right now. Now I can focus on other things instead of thinking of guys and all those mushy stuff. =)